First Sign of Autumn
by BluSakura
Summary: Fakir breaks his promise; he will not stay by her side anymore. FakirxAhiru


_I can tell. This is going to be another disaster._

_Lots of run-on sentences here, but it's Ahiru, and she rambles, so I kind of did it on purpose. But we'll see._

_Here goes nothing._

* * *

He comes by her lake every day.

He always brings news from around the town, or stories he writes, or happenings at the academy, or her favorite biscuits from a café near the school. He comes right after he's finished his classes and stays with her until the sun sets.

A year passes and he continues to keep his promise to stay by her side.

He does the same thing every day; he sits on a chair on the dock with a stack of paper on his lap and quill in his hand; he writes the most fascinating stories that she sometimes reads from atop his shoulder; he teases her and smiles at her and argues with her as if she could respond with _something other _than quacking.

She grows to love him more and more with every day he comes.

So when one day, at the first sign of autumn, he doesn't show up, she feels incomplete. She waits for him for hours, floating on the surface of the water and glancing to the dock with apprehension every few minutes. She tries to distract herself from the emptiness that sets in her chest by swimming down to the depths and coming right back up, but then all she remembers is being at the bottom of a lake _with him_. There are other things to eat besides biscuits, but grasses and insects weren't things that he picked up from the café _just for her_. And in the end, all she wants is to see his smile.

When the sun sets, she tries to remind herself that he only missed one day.

She then feels unbelievably selfish.

He comes the next day at his usual time, with no news, no stories, no biscuits. He has bags under his eyes and he seems too exhausted for words. And he doesn't stay until sun set. He walks onto the dock, not noticing the concerned look on her face.

"I'm tired, so I'm going to head straight home," he mumbles and turns around to head back, "Sorry, I just had a long day." And that's all he says before his back disappears into the distance.

She reminds herself that he _looks_ tired and he _sounds _tired so he _must _be tired.

The gaping hole in her heart widens when he doesn't show up for a week. Leaves are falling rapidly.

In the middle of autumn, he comes back, not at his usual time (then again how can it be usual if he hasn't been there in a while), but in the early morning. He doesn't stay until sunset.

He looks pale and fatigue cripples his usual straight posture, and guilt drips from his solemn features. She wants to see his smile because she hasn't seen it in _so long_, but that doesn't stop her from feeling elated just to gaze at his face.

Her elation shatters when he scowls at her.

"Sorry. I can't visit anymore. I can't stay by your side."

Her heart cracks and tears pool in her eyes.

"You're just a duck. And I have things I need to do and a life to live. Now, why don't you do something useful and fly south for the winter?" With that, he walks away.

She realizes that she was truly useless and unneeded and unwanted and a burden and she feels absolutely hollow inside. A void forms within her chest and she feels dull. No pain, just numb all over and she wonders if this is what it is like to not have a heart.

Three days pass. She eats, she swims, she sleeps. She eats, she swims, she sleeps. Eats, swims, sleeps. She realizes that maybe she should fly south for the winter for lack of anything better to do and pictures in her mind the image of him walking _away_.

Two girls from the academy take a walk by her lake on the fourth day. She's never seen them before, but now she doesn't care until she hears their conversation.

The girl with red curls sobs, "Oh, I had the hugest crush on him! Why didn't I tell him how I felt before? It's been a whole month since he had to leave the school."

The other with dark straight hair sighs, "I sent him my get-well card. But that disease he has is only getting worse, isn't it? I heard his condition is really bad."

"The Fakir Fan-club will not rest until he is better!" With that, the redhead grabs the brunette's arm and drags her off.

The little duck's heart stops. He is sick. He is sick. He has a disease. And he kept that from her. He is sick, sick, _suffering_, with a _disease_.

That night, she flutters her way to Karon's home, sobbing and crying and the tears that blurred her vision try to slow her down. But she won't stop because she has to get to him and see him and try to convey through quacks how much of an idiot he is to try and hide this from her.

She makes it only twenty minutes later, peeking through the front window. Karon sits on the couch, head bowed and praying. Rachel is weeping on the shoulder of her husband, Hans, and now the little duck knows for a fact that he is _not_ okay.

The window on the upper floor is open. His window. She wastes no time to fly through.

Her breath catches in her throat when she sees him in his bed.

The blanket is pulled up to his waist and his arms are at his sides. He is pale and weak and he is much too skinny. His lips are chapped and the bags under his eyes have deepened and his breathing is shallow. He has always been so strong and healthy and now he just simply _isn't_ and she wants to just share his pain so he wouldn't be alone.

With a flap of her wings, she makes her way over to settle on his chest. He doesn't seem to be awake and so she lets out a small quack.

His eyes slowly--too slowly--open and his green orbs that were usually so alert are dull and almost lifeless until he focuses on her.

Hs face doesn't change, but his eyes reveal so much. They depict his guilt and his regret and she knows just what he's saying even if he can't find the strength to talk.

_I'm sorry. I didn't want you to see me like this._

She wants to quack loudly at his face and flap around noisily to get him to understand that he shouldn't have hid this from her and that she could've helped or simply just have _been there for him_.

But he is in so much pain, and so is she, and all she can do was cry and cry and let her tears pour down her feathered face.

She tries with everything she has to stand as straight as a duck can and pulls her wings to her chest in a pose of absolute and utter _love_ that makes his eyes glisten with unshed tears. And with the look in his eyes, she knows for a fact that he is so happy and no matter how heartbroken she is, she is happy, too.

She sleeps there, on his chest, nuzzling his cheek.

The little duck wakes at dawn, and he doesn't wake at all. She lightly pecks his (cold, lifeless, wonderful) lips and cries just a bit more, nestling her small face into his neck and her wings envelop his face. More than anything, she wants to be able to _tell_ him with _words _just how much she loves him. Maybe then, she can disappear.

There are no more leaves on the trees and winter begins.

* * *

_Probably a bit OOC. Eh, I tried._

_(runs into a pole on the way out)_


End file.
